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| Eunice's and Yael's Cap and Gown |
Graduation day...For most families, a day of joy and celebration of the accomplishments of their beloved children, a milestone in their lives.
Cherishing the time as hopeful hearts are looking forward to the bright future...
But the seemingly picture perfect is not a reality for some families, not in the same way, for some of us it is an emotional bittersweet day, one in which we feel our grief reaching peak levels, one in which we struggle for a balance as we battle to find a way to be able to feel the joy of such moments in spite of our grief. To be able to find "The beauty in the ashes" like it is said.
For me personally today is a day in which I feel so proud of my dear son: Yael, as he finishes this phase of his life, he is graduating from High School, he is filled with hope, he is driven, he is persistent and motivated to make the best of his life... and and he is also grieving...in spite of having been through his most difficult time, he has built a gigantic sense of perseverance and resilience.
Today is also a day that is marked as the day that I never got to see for my beloved daughter, Eunice, as she parted 5 months before graduating from High School, last year in January; there isn't a day that goes by that her beautiful spiritual presence is not present in my heart, but there is also not a day that goes by that her physical presence isn't missed...Today as I was helping Yael to prepare the Cap and Gown for his graduation - the same Cap and Gown that we actually ordered for Eunice, on the same Friday that she left her physical body- Yael (and we) felt that wearing it will be a way to honor his sister, that Cap and Gown had remained on its original package since last year, as the days were approaching and as the day unfolded I knew I would feel the vulnerability, I knew it, and I allowed myself to feel the pain, as I was thinking that she didn't get to wear it, she didn't get to see the light of that day, it did hurt, so much that words can't describe it, I felt sad and angry, drowned in grief. Sometimes I need to feel those emotions in order to be able to keep moving into healing, to be able to keep choosing life and true meaning.
This crazy process takes us to the darkest places, with such force it takes us to places within ourselves that we wouldn't ever imagined, some moments we plunged into a grief wave then, suddenly we resurfaced to the softer, gentler waves, and is there where despite all the pain we really become aware that Love is what keeps our grip into this life.
Today is also a day that is marked as the day that I never got to see for my beloved daughter, Eunice, as she parted 5 months before graduating from High School, last year in January; there isn't a day that goes by that her beautiful spiritual presence is not present in my heart, but there is also not a day that goes by that her physical presence isn't missed...Today as I was helping Yael to prepare the Cap and Gown for his graduation - the same Cap and Gown that we actually ordered for Eunice, on the same Friday that she left her physical body- Yael (and we) felt that wearing it will be a way to honor his sister, that Cap and Gown had remained on its original package since last year, as the days were approaching and as the day unfolded I knew I would feel the vulnerability, I knew it, and I allowed myself to feel the pain, as I was thinking that she didn't get to wear it, she didn't get to see the light of that day, it did hurt, so much that words can't describe it, I felt sad and angry, drowned in grief. Sometimes I need to feel those emotions in order to be able to keep moving into healing, to be able to keep choosing life and true meaning.
This crazy process takes us to the darkest places, with such force it takes us to places within ourselves that we wouldn't ever imagined, some moments we plunged into a grief wave then, suddenly we resurfaced to the softer, gentler waves, and is there where despite all the pain we really become aware that Love is what keeps our grip into this life.
Eunice's legacy keeps on going, I actively keep in search of rediscovering and evolving my own soul map and my true sense of purpose on this earthly realm (I believe we all have it) all she was in her physical existence and all she still is, remains with us, as I read on a article from a bereaved mom:
"We can continue to 'have' what we have 'lost', that is, a continuing, albeit transformed, love for the deceased. We have not truly lost our years of living with the deceased or our memories. Nor have we lost their influences, the inspirations, the values, and the meanings embodied in their lives." (Lucy Hone)
I truly believe that when we physically part away from someone we love so deeply, part of us goes with them and it is in the healing journey that we can find our way into that part of us that we lost, a way into our true, better, kinder, self.
Eunice's life impacted my life, her existence carved my being and my soul and I know she impacted many others, and she continues to do so, today as we keep celebrating Yael's achievements and milestones, I can't help but to think how amazingly proud Eunice would've been of seeing her brother accomplishing one more step, seeing him grow spiritually and seeing him becoming a fine young man, but I also know in my heart how Yael's life keeps being an inspiration to us and to many others and how as he lives his own life, he also keeps finding ways to honor Eunice, he keeps finding ways to incorporate parts of her legacy into his own journey, the legacy of the love they shared and keep sharing.
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| Congratulations Class of 2016! |
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| Congratulations dear son! Love, Claudia |
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